I have to say...I'm a little nervous. Every time this week at work I would start back in on planning or email my team or what not I would just get consumed with worry and this that and the other. My coworker and friend gave me this piece of advice and affirmation:
"Have confidence in the journey God has brought you on this far. We are all a work in process…none of us have fully arrived. And I believe this trip to Ethiopia will be a huge defining moment for you. I think I mentioned before that I still get nervous for every trip I take….but each trip I feel more and more confident in God’s ability to get me thru and to show up. He has NEVER failed me. Be confident in HIS ability, not your own. You have the right heart, the passion, and more actual real-life experience than anyone else on that team. They will see you as a leader just based on the experiences you do have. You have all the right foundational elements…now just trust the Spirit will bring those out of you!"
After spending 3 hours at work planning the details out for this trip and talking with my team over the phone I have to say I am excited for what God is going to do. I know He will show up and really am expecting him to do so. If He doesn't show up, we have no reason being there. This trip is for Him and through Him we will be shown His plan for His creation.
This is the biggest trip of my life. I have been so privileged thus far to see different parts of the world, but this trip is by far the biggest responsibility I have had to undertake so far. I see it as one of those benchmarks of Faith. The closer I get to God and seek His face the more I see His plan for His world, and I sit back in utter amazement that He continues to let me join with Him in His plan to redeem this world. What a privilege it is to join in with what the CREATOR GOD is doing in this world He created.
I think some of the things that make me nervous for this trip are:
"Have confidence in the journey God has brought you on this far. We are all a work in process…none of us have fully arrived. And I believe this trip to Ethiopia will be a huge defining moment for you. I think I mentioned before that I still get nervous for every trip I take….but each trip I feel more and more confident in God’s ability to get me thru and to show up. He has NEVER failed me. Be confident in HIS ability, not your own. You have the right heart, the passion, and more actual real-life experience than anyone else on that team. They will see you as a leader just based on the experiences you do have. You have all the right foundational elements…now just trust the Spirit will bring those out of you!"
After spending 3 hours at work planning the details out for this trip and talking with my team over the phone I have to say I am excited for what God is going to do. I know He will show up and really am expecting him to do so. If He doesn't show up, we have no reason being there. This trip is for Him and through Him we will be shown His plan for His creation.
This is the biggest trip of my life. I have been so privileged thus far to see different parts of the world, but this trip is by far the biggest responsibility I have had to undertake so far. I see it as one of those benchmarks of Faith. The closer I get to God and seek His face the more I see His plan for His world, and I sit back in utter amazement that He continues to let me join with Him in His plan to redeem this world. What a privilege it is to join in with what the CREATOR GOD is doing in this world He created.
I think some of the things that make me nervous for this trip are:
- I'm the "leader", "facilitator", "planner", "organizer"...
- I want the team to be able to be in a spot in their heart/mind to receive what God has for them. Not what I have to say to them, but why He has brought them to Africa to paint an orphanage, do crafts with kids, and wash the feet of Women...why did He call them specifically and how do they enter into what He is all about. We so often get our eyes on what we are all about and what He has called us to do, instead I try and ask how can I enter into what He is all about, what He is doing in this world.
- I long to see transformation- and want to get out of the way and allow the LORD to reveal His plan for redemption and transformation in their lives
- I do not want to hurt the people of Ethiopia more by being there. I'm in the middle of a book called "When helping hurts" and am weary of the many ways we can go into countries and do trips like these and leave doing more harm than good. I do know God has a heart for these kiddos and women and am praying whole heartedly that HE will lead us to a place of grace, humility, and a desire to just sit back and learn about the people, the culture, the country of Ethiopia.
- I am praying for the logistics of packing our bags, flying, team unity and dynamics, God to show up in my life in a way that the team does not see me, but see's the God I represent, the Spirit inside me. I want my life to be a reflection of Him who has sent me to lead this team.
Please join with me to pray for what God is doing in Ethiopia and plans to do in the lives of the team members and myself.
Pray that I will rely FULLY on the Spirit of God as I trust Him to lead me as I try and lead this team. Pray that I trust in who He has made me to be, and that my confidence
Thanks for your love and taking the time to read this post and for your prayers. Without praying, without having God show up...we might as well stay home.
A friend sent me this verse this week: ""And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Phil 1:9-11"
Holzie, you are going to be an amazing "leader!" Just remember, you are the vessel the Lord is using to carry and pour out His love on the people of Ethiopia and those He has led there to serve. He is really the Leader of this trip and He has given you the gift of humility. :) Maybe it's silly, but I always imagine a water pitcher, warped and worn, but re-fired constantly to maintain its strength. What is pour out of that pitcher is the purest, most refreshing water there is.
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